wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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