Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize