summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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