im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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