We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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