Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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