just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize