Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
