It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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