If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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