there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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