READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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