So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
