that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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