You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
