No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
