Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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