The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
