I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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