ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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