I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
