Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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