Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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