I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
