Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Randomize
