you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
