just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize