It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
