He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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