I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
