She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
