I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I believe in your delicious
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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