so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
