To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Still dying that you shit outside
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
