Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
