At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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