Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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