No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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