WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
