she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
