I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
