Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
