I wish i was in the wii world.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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