Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
