do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
