she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
