so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you win again, gameday.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Someone came in the potted fern
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
