He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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