Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He did a backflip because drugs
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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