I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
