shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
