I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize