I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
