at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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