Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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