the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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