Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize