We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
