no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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