With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
