ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
