im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
