Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize