DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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