Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
