i don't like sucking hair
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
