i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
