He is an equal opportunity slut.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
