i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
