My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
