just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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