She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
