I look better un-naked...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
