Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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