If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
