i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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