In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Four minutes until I can fart!
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
