If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
